Zero Positive

Master Chef

2005-03-28T23:11:00.000-08:00

so i decided to cook bake today, and much to my surprise it tasted excellent......yummie yummie yummie.

Broken

2005-03-28T23:09:00.000-08:00

i tried burning a cd today but since my sound wasnt working i didnt know if the songs were good, after almost half an hour of anxious waiting the cd was finished, and it didnt work!!

Man Hunt

2005-03-18T21:52:00.000-08:00

Police Chase, copters and all.

Rain

2005-03-17T01:22:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since i felt this sublime. There is a light drizzle, illuminated by a single dim streetlight. Brings forth a feeling of reflective discernment. I remember! and still the longing is there. And what will become of it, only time will tell. I wish to mend broken glass, but more time is needed and words i'd like to hear and say may never again come my way. And still i remember, of gainig the world and losing it again. The emptyness is here again, the silence still dreadful, yet for now not as much, for the batte is still not lost, as long as his will is strong. better days will come again bringing with it sounds of Caribbean Blue. And the truth will be told.... we must grow and not remain the way we are, out of sorrow comes rivers of joy, Nothing in this world is just about pain, The greatest lesson one will ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

Disturbed

2005-02-11T00:46:00.000-08:00

I just put on the tv, on the news , a newborn baby less than 1 hr old was tossed from a moving vehicle not far from where i lived. .....................

Eyes wide shut!

2005-02-10T12:13:00.000-08:00

"who has eyes, let him see. "We say we see but do we really ? What do we see, is it real or is it just what we perceieve to be. ......and this thing called love, has so many people confused. To love unconditionally, to be truly selfless in our motives. This i think is real love, to give without expecting. So why all the talk about compromise, ...about changing. All that just leads to confusion, then we say its just an illusion when we get fucked up.

The age of computers, I remember back in Isabella, To be a computer technician back then brought forth a certain aura of respect. Well its not a land of milk and honey as like so many other things i've been dissappointed by. Currently i'm a web designer/developer, its one of my passions, kinnda sucky but o well. I got out of the technician parh, truth is , i'm very adept at breaking things. Fixing computers is a pain in the ass. well actually your eyes and neck.

::side note:
The eagles lost the superbowl.
Another carnival that i missed.
Sonny Mann died.
Bob Marleys birthday.
no valetines this year.
blah.

My moms birthday is sometimes this month, i think its the 28th but i'm not sure on that, now i have to devise a plan to find out without her knowing...I'm still a mamas boy :)

Many rivers to cross

2005-02-09T23:48:00.000-08:00

There are so many rivers to cross,so many mountains to climb. sometimes i can't seem to find myself over. I miss my Nana. I will never forget. I'm listining to Jimmy Cliff. If you wanna leave then fucken leave.

2005-01-30T14:36:00.000-08:00

I'm really tired, and it feels good, i know i'll have a great night sleep. Well i just finished stuffing myself so i'm gonna get some rest!!

....feel like Charlie Brown

2005-01-29T16:08:00.000-08:00

I'm listining to Fade to black and i had an insight. I feel like Charlie Brown.!!!!

Black

2005-01-19T02:06:00.000-08:00

Black(my rendition)

Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me
All five horizons revolved around her soul
As the earth to the sun
Now the air I tasted and breathed has taken a turn
And now my bitter hands chafe beneath the clouds
Of what was everything?
the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

I take a walk outside
I’m surrounded by some kids at play
I can feel their laughter, so why do I tear
and twisted thoughts that spin round my head
I’m spinning, I’m spinning
How quick the sun can, drop away
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything
All the pictures have all been washed in black
All the love gone bad turned my world to black
Tattooed all I see, all that I am, all I’ll ever be...

I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you’ll be a star
In somebody else’s sky, but why
Why, why can’t it be, why can’t it be mine.

2005-01-18T21:35:00.000-08:00

i felt like writing today but never got around to doing it. i'm looking through this old notebook, reading some of the stuff i wrote awhile back. It rained this week, maybe this is waht triggered my inclination to write(.....long story). Anyways i saw a picture that i drew while sitting in one of my friends' class. We were once close, but now we don't even talk. Times have changed.........so fast. The pic in question brought back fond memories. Memories never die, even tho the friendship sometimes does. Everything is pretty much how it was five years ago. I always told myself if i had a chance to do things over then it would be different. well in a way i have a chance to do just that.....

wish u were here

2005-01-18T21:25:00.000-08:00

Pink Floyd

Emotional turmoil the least of my worries

2005-01-17T19:22:00.000-08:00

Most say that we are who we are, yet that doesn't answer the question: who are we? who am I? Only now do I begin to realize the difficulty we face in seeing ourselves for what we truely are. I cannot succumb to a point of view and sacrifice valuable knowledge of it's opposition. But I do know this knowledge is painful and if i choose to pursue this relentless endeavor emotional turmoil is the least of my worries.

where am i?

2005-01-09T20:28:00.000-08:00

i got a call today from temptation......things have changed, but yet still with a twist, i'm gonna start taking more pics. things change even do we dont want to. but everything happens for a reason, so some wise person one said. what reason could that possibly, is it good or bad. our life takes soo many twists and turns, sometimes i dunno if i'm coming or going........i don'y want to be lost anymore, i want to be found!!!

AHHHH

2005-01-09T18:44:00.000-08:00

......there is soo much confusion, so much negative energy, i just dispise it

i play with dolls!!!

2005-01-07T20:53:00.000-08:00

Click here to find out which Nirvana grunge rocker you are!

A Prayer!

2005-01-05T13:41:00.000-08:00

Dear God,

My name is confusion, as I am sure you already know.

I address you on behalf of myself and others who hold this name, but are afraid to confront you.

I hope you don't mind that I ask you some questions.

Yours is the only answer I need as I know you would never mislead.

I am open to receiving your information in whatever form of communication you deem worthy to my level of understanding.

It is nearing the Christmas season again.

Amid the hustle, bustle, spending sprees, jingle bells and santa claus

I have forgotten what it is truly about.

I know that Christmas is for giving, but is financial debt my true reward?

No one seems to appeciate material giving. If they did there wouldn't be a boxing day.

But wait!

for giving. That can also be ONE word, can it not?

And isn't the reason for the birth of Christ to bring forth liberty from sin through the act of Forgiveness?

"forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors."

If I forgive just one person who has done me wrong, I would free that soul from any debt owed toward me? And I in turn would receive your forgiveness?

It is the ultimate act of Grace.

A Giving which is unconditional, comes truly from the heart, bears no monetary value yet brings forth an indebtedness of a joyous nature!

Thank you God!

Thank you for this invaluable insight.

I shall pass this insight on to the others in your name.

Now that I have received your answer I feel no need to send this letter.

You were listening as I was writing and now my name is Clarity.

I found a Girl

2005-01-04T21:09:00.000-08:00

I Found A Girl

I found a girl, dark of hair

eyes so sad and skin so fair

she wanted me...

I found a girl whose soul was bright

her heart was broken but her laughter light

she loved me...

I found a girl who'd been betrayed

her trust was thin tho' no lies she made

she believed in me...

I found a girl whose love was true

I love her so and honour too

eternally.

9 buns and a donut

2005-01-04T17:48:00.000-08:00

last night i was on an eating frenzy, i ate nine bun bread, a pot of tomato, a chocolate donut, half a can of pringles, 2 fried potatoes, and some ice-cream.......needless to say i was in the bathroom for a while this morning..

SNAKE!!! Run for your life.....

2005-01-04T17:44:00.000-08:00

ahhhhh, everyone who know me, knows that i'm petrified of snakes.....
well i was doing some work around the house, cleaning up and stuff, when i reached down to pick up a ladder and a snake popped out from under it, needless to say i scared "shitless"(just an expression) but AHHHHH. well i stopped worked instantly, deciding that i had done enough for today. As i sit here writing this my heart is still racing. ...breathe...breathe, ok i think i'd be alright now.

'Paradox Of Our Time' by: Dr. Bob Moorehead

2005-01-02T19:04:00.000-08:00

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all, mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Still Wrong???

2005-01-02T19:00:00.002-08:00

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

G.E.E.K.S

2005-01-02T18:44:00.000-08:00

A Girl's Guide to Geek Guys
By Mikki Halpin and Victoria Maat

Why Geek Dudes Rule

They are generally available.
Other women will tend not to steal them.
They can fix things.
Your parents will love them.
They're smart.

Where The Geek Dude Lurks

While they are often into alternative music, geek dudes tend not to go to shows too often. Instead you'll find them hanging out with their friends, discussing the latest hardware revolution or perfecting their Bill Gates impressions. You know how some people wear t-shirts with their favorite bands on them, thus showing that they went to certain shows? Well, geek dudes wear t-shirts with the logos of different software companies on them, thus showing that they are up on the latest, um, releases. A small, though convivial, rivalry may be detected here amongst the geek dudes. Try wearing one yourself and see if he strikes up a conversation.

Of course the best way to meet a geek dude is through the Internet. All geeks harbor a secret fantasy about meeting some girl in cyberspace, carrying on an e-mail romance in which he has the chance to combine an activity he is comfortable with, computing, with one he is very uncomfortable with, socializing. To many geek dudes, cyberdating is just an advanced form of some kind of video game, but they are frustrated by a lack of players. Their lack is your strength.
Imprinting

You might notice that these men harbor some strange ideas about how the world works and some particularly strange ideas about women. There is a reason for this. Because they've had limited interpersonal experience, geek dudes must look elsewhere for behavior models. Lacking a real world social milieu, geeks often go through a transference stage with such narratives, and try to model their interactions on them. Thus, certain media images and themes come to have an overly cathected, metaphorized reality to them, while the rest of us view such programming as mere entertainment. Case in point, our next topic...

Once You've Nabbed Him

Of course, catching that geek guy is only half the battle. Keeping him by your side is another story altogether. I was privileged to speak with Miss Victoria Maat, who not only got herself a geek guy but was also clever enough to marry him just a few short months ago. She interrupted her newlywed bliss to give us a few tips on the care and feeding of a geek man:

Geeks are sensitive and caring lovers and husbands. If you can hang with the techno-lifestyle, they make the best mates. They are the most attractive people, not flashy or hunky, but the kind who get cuter and more alluring over time (I told you she was a newlywed). Definitely give geeks a chance.

Geek Cuisine

Geeks tend towards packaged, junk foods since they prefer to work and think and aren't all that into cooking for themselves. Make sure that your geek understands that you are not merely a replicator, and provide him with home cooked food. A batch of chocolate chip cookies will let him know that you love him. You do have to monitor your geek for weight gain; however, remember that most of their days are spent sitting and staring at a monitor.

Geek Lifestyle

The geek dude has long work habits and tends to bring his work home with him. He seems permanently connected to his hard disk. You must at least appear interested in his work. Generally, a solid understanding of the computer is a must; if you cannot master this, you should at least be able to talk the talk. Remember most geeks are anal and they get stressed about details which appear insignificant. Be understanding, and empathize.

To relax, geeks love to play the latest computer games. Let him play Myst or Chuck Yeager's Air Combat for hours if he wants to. Act concerned if he's stuck or has just been ambushed by three MiGs. My geek loves to try to help people on the Internet who say that they are stuck in Myst. He comes up with clever riddles instead of directing them point blank. Geeks also like to go to sci-fi and Japanese animated movies, again, a basically harmless vent for your man.

Geek Buddies

Many geeks extend their work friendships into what they jokingly refer to as RL (Real Life, also known as "that big room with the ceiling that is sometimes blue and sometimes black with little lights"). The greatest thing about your geek's buddies is that you can feel secure in setting them up with your girlfriends. They may feel awkward around females at first, so don't overwhelm them. In time they will come out of their shell and realize that you are into the same things they are.

So its a new year!

2005-01-02T01:31:00.000-08:00

......my new years resolution is to be the best that i can be.. :)

My new year must have started good because i can't remember anything, naw just kidding , well actually i don't remember much of what happened, but i think it was good. i remember trying insessantly to call to Trinidad but i couldn't get through if my life depended on it. i don't remember what time i went to bed, however i do remember having a conversation with someone, but now that i'm awake , i'm not to sure if it was real or was i just dreaming the whole thing.........don't you just hate when that happens.

Acupuncture

2005-01-01T21:16:00.000-08:00

How in the heck was acupuncture developed? Was there a time when people actually thought sticking needles in someone was great fun? Probably. I always figured it had to be something weird. I bet some Chinese prison was torturing someone, but instead of hurting him, the more they poked, the better he felt.

"Wow," he'd say, "My headache is gone! I can run again -- I haven't done that since I lost both of my legs. My vertebrae all seem to be in alignment, and my impotence problem is gone, too! Thanks, guys!"

I love you

2005-01-01T18:30:00.000-08:00

I LOVE YOU (NOT REALLY...)

I am thinking of changing my name to You. That way, whenever someone says "I love you," I would feel good, because no one can be loved too much.

The only problem is that if a friend's beautiful wife told my friend "I love you," and he thought she meant me, then my friend would get mad at me.

Peanut butt

2005-01-01T16:28:00.000-08:00

Ahhh Peanut "butt"er

I am so frustrated! I go to make a peanut butter & jelly sandwich for my lunch and I realized that I got the wrong peanut butter! I got chunky instead of creamy. I can't deal with that. It is very annoying -- it's peanut BUTTER! It's not supposed to have chunks in it. I think the supermarkets shouldn't be allowed to stock creamy and crunchy in the same aisle, they should separate them by at least two aisles, just so people don't make the same mistake I did. If I only help one person, it would be worth it.

Do know All?

2005-01-01T13:27:00.000-08:00

I know All

I think I'll change my name to All. It seems to me to be the only nice thing a true friend will do. Don't be mistaken -- my friends are all very nice and very cool -- but I think that I could really add to their lives if my name were All.

"Hey, you. You in the back row," the professor would say, "You gonna talk to your friend all day, or are you going to listen to this lecture? You think you know everything, you can come right up here and teach this class!"

"Well," my friend would say, "I do know All."

Smoke Free

2005-01-01T13:14:00.000-08:00

Death to the customer

Some smokers are really selfish. They smoke their whole life, forever defending their right to smoke. They smoke in their car, their home, in front of their kids, friends and family. They'll never quit, either. Oh, they try, but they don't get there. It's just too tough...

Unless it's their life on the line. How many smokers have tried quitting dozens of times, only to fail each time until they are giving the ultimatum: stop or die in six months. Guess what!

So, they don't care enough about the people around them that have to breath the second-hand smoke, they don't care enough to save the $3 per day ($21 per week, $90 per month, $1080 per year), but they do care enough when it comes to ole Number One and his desire to live!

I think that if you aren't willing to give up smoking for your loved ones, you shouldn't be allowed to give it up for yourself.

Don't hold your breath

2004-12-31T23:32:00.000-08:00

DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH

Have you ever asked someone to do something and they say "Okay, but don't hold your breath"?

If I wanted you to do something, why would I hold my breath while I wait? Was it standard practice at some point in history, i don't know but ...don't hold you breath.!!!

when is opposites Day?

2004-12-31T22:21:00.000-08:00

OPPOSITE DAY

How will you ever know if it's opposite day? If it is opposite day and you ask someone, and they say yes, then they mean no. If it is and they say no then it means yes, but since you don't know if it's opposite day, you won't really know if they mean yes or no.

Besides that, who decides if it's opposite day, or even opposite week? And once this "Master of Opposite" makes the decision, how is he to inform others? If he says 'hey, Sue, it's opposite day', she won't believe him, because if it were opposite day, he'd have to say 'hey, Sue, it isn't opposite day'. But then she wouldn't know if it really was opposite day. If it wasn't opposite day, then the Master just told her that it wasn't, not that it was.

Alas i must say goodbye

2004-12-31T19:41:00.000-08:00

i went for a walk this evening, trying to gather my thoughts, its raining here, ..what a way to bring in the new year. I watch as the passing headlights illuminate the sprinkles from heaven, it looks very beautiful, peaceful. i like walking in the rain. Alas my heart is heavy, i fear that i must say goodbye, but there is nothing i can do now. Someday i'll go back home ..........................someday, maybe i'll see you smile. Maybe. Goodbye dreadful year, goodbye my friend.

New Years Eve

2004-12-31T14:05:00.000-08:00

I wanna be pushed aside so let me go, let me take back my life........."the first words i heard when i woke up"

i fucked up again, why is it that no matter how much we try to forget the misdeeds of the past they keep coming back and kicking us in the ass? i can't change the past, i can't change all the stupid things i've done, i can't undo the hurt it may have caused.............
i have moved on, please believe that, i'm not that ass i used to be, i can see clearly now, the darkness has drifted away from my life. Please let the past stay in the past, the old year is almost over, do what needs to be done.

It's not always rainbows and butterfiles,
it's compromise that moves along,
My heart is full"
And my door always open
you can anytime you want.
i miss you.

Tsunami death toll soars over 117,000

2004-12-31T13:22:00.000-08:00

There's probably nothing I can say about the recent Indian Ocean Earthquake that hasn't already been said by others. We first learned about it on Monday morning, nearly 36 hours after-the-fact. The devastation in the affected areas is horrifying, and our prayers go out to everyone affected.

I know I'm late in mentioning this, but I just felt like it wouldn't be right to post anything else here without first acknowledging such a widely felt tradgedy.

...please help the surviors of this terrible disaster, by donating food supplies , our brothers and sisters need us.
http://tsunamihelp.blogspot.com/

Say it aint so'

2004-12-31T01:01:00.000-08:00

i found love......then lost it again!